Wine Country Times

The chore of taking “Christmas “down and packed becomes one of the focuses of the month. Yet the holiday season still lingers in the air with the soft scents of cinnamon pinecones and gingerbread houses holding on to the last gumdrops and slowly disappearing. The North Star tree topper still sitting on the box waiting to be carefully wrapped. Putting away the season past and preparing for a new year is quickly racing by. January is truly a month of reflection, resolution and promise, even more so as the raindrops softly and sometimes swiftly wash away the various hours.

My thoughts are long as the welcomed rain outside continues to pour into our empty lakes and create small puddles across the campus. Looking out the office window, I see one of the 4-year old’s escaping her mother’s hold on the way to childcare. Jumping on her scooter, races across the campus with yelps of glee and mother racing behind her …. She stomps into the puddles as she defiantly watches her mother’s face- delights her as much as getting soaked in the deluge. Her protests to being indoors soon subsides as she is greeted by her favorite child care worker, Elodia.

The heavy rain creates a hush to the business of this new year. Getting to and from the various buildings, classes, appointments, and childcare are cleverly navigated with umbrellas, heavy jackets, hoodies and sometimes binders and tote bags as the unpredictable downpour suddenly stops and starts throughout the day. Rainstorms, and flashflood warnings do not change that it is still a day in recovery.

There was worry for some mothers as to being in treatment during the holiday. “What about Christmas, and presents and visits?” There was a fear of not being able to connect with their children after being absent and trying to recover their sobriety. The women often come depleted of all their resources, as well as their hope. For others, being able to hold their children and take care of them while they are in treatment gave deeper meaning to each moment of motherhood not to be taken for granted.

For some, it was their first Christmas/ holiday ever, and for others, their first sober New Year in a long time. It was bittersweet to see and listen to the women as they gathered together to decorate, discuss and explore the reason for the season, and what it meant to them individually to make it into treatment. You could feel the sadness and hurt dealing with addiction and loss- what it took for each of them to tap into their inner fortitude and find the strength to come in. Although in the moment, they may not see it as a strength, it surely was the first step in admitting they needed help.

Then the unexpected treat of an extravagant Holiday Dinner hosted by “There is a Solution” - a collective group of women from Healdsburg. One of the women described it as feeling like she was treated like someone very special and imagined that one day she would do the same for another woman in recovery. They were in complete serenity and joy sharing a meal prepared especially for them.

The week before Christmas was a buzz with curiosity as gifts and packages arrived with their names, and their children’s names on them. The office filled with a barrage of visits, just to see what colorful bows and ties and decorated bags had arrived and for whom. There were whispers, and giggles and sweet sighs of relief that someone had thought of them and they were not forgotten. There was such an innocence of it all - a sweet, forgotten time of innocence. The smile on their faces showed that their hearts were full.Every day, something kind and loving from the community, was only surpassed by connecting with their children, their mothers, and with worried family. The child visits, the presents, the family time, all while in recovery, and sobriety is a gift beyond value. And finally on Christmas morning, everyone came to the main classroom to find a chair with a bag of gifts, just for them. The smiles, joy and gratitude were overwhelming.

Between the generosity of our great community, the Assistance League, the Rotary Clubs, Welfare League, Secret Santa local businesses, like Santa Rosa Computers, and the members of Balance Sports Performance gym, other generous donors, organizations, and other wonderful gifts from Board members, each of the women, their babies, and children, here or at home, received gifts.

One woman cried with gratitude because she thought she would have nothing to give and was surprised to see that there was a bag for her children, and to her surprise a bag of gifts for her as well. Each woman expressed gratitude for the love and caring of the community person and organization who took the time to think of her and her children; No judgement, just pure unconditional love. They were touched beyond words. The value of the gift grew exponentially- with great love and sentiment, inspiration and motivation. Each of the mothers, wrapped gifts for their children with a heartfelt thank you and pretty red bows. Experiencing this kind of great love, creates an understanding that they are not alone, and there are many in our village that stand with them as silent partners to their recovery.

This is part of the solution, the foundation of support for the women in our homes, schools, place of business that struggle with addiction. It becomes a great motivator. Grace can drive an old truck a thousand miles on an empty gas tank (remind me to tell you that story someday). It is not the gifts themselves but the act of giving, the hope, faith and believing that has filled their tank.

She learns this is not a walk alone; it is one that expands and grows as she establishes her recovery foundation and her community support. The wonderful outpour of people who care and come along side to help guide her, and support her as she regains her footing.

The continued support of the mothers, their children and the work that needs to be done, now and every day after, drives this new year’s resolutions and fills the hope bucket with wonderful awareness and strength, new sponsors and women in the fellowship and the 12 AA Promises that state “we will be amazed before we are half way through” and “we are going to know a new freedom” as we look ahead and navigate through this time in treatment.

The new year is filled with energy, and excitement, building on their foundation, and recovery goals, building new memories and providing positive childhood experience with their children. Recognizing this time, this season and this opportunity is their time to re-establish their lives, and being exactly where they need to be- without question or hesitation.

Women and children, pandemic and masks, deluge rain, extreme heat, does not stop her endeavors for a better and brighter future as she is revitalized and encouraged to the start of the new year sober and in treatment and the whole village standing with her. January is just about over - wondering what February will bring. 

Diane Madrigal is the executive director of Women's Recovery Services.